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There’s the girl all in white, the group sitting by the curb, and obviously the ‘couple’ against the wall who were negotiating a price as we walked by. The inside of the mall was even more packed. By the back entrance there was another group of them chatting as they waited for potential customers, as well as isolated pairs standing around. They always seemed to be in groups of two or larger, except when they were appeared to be negotiating. It was somehow exciting to see so many women engaged in an act that we considered wrong and criminal so blatantly plying their trade in an otherwise picturesque part of Singapore.
As we left the mall we speculated on whether or not President Obama would be put up at the hotel across the street, and what Michelle might think about it all. We also saw some of the girls that we’d seen standing around in or on the side of Orchard Towers moving up the road a bit and engaging potential customers.
Disclaimer : Please keep in mind that I don’t condone prostitution, nor am I posting this for the sake of directing people where to get paid sex. I’m just detailing an aspect of Singapore that I discovered while living here. What you do with this information is up to you. So, if you go to Orchard Towers, get paid sex and then find out you have black syphilis and can’t return to your country due to health reasons, don’t blame me alright?
11 Types of Girls you’ll meet in Singapore Clubs.
T he girls in Singapore clubs are a mysterious bunch, you never know what their intentions are on their night out. But worry no more guys! Here’s your go-to-guide to identify all the different types of girls you may run into the next time you’re at a Singapore club.
The good. The Bad. And the ones your mother warned you about.
(Note: this article is tongue in cheek, no offence intended to the female population!)
#1 The Girl Finding Love in a Hopeless Place.
(Props to anyone who knows this song)
The Girl Finding Love in a Hopeless Place recently turned 29, all her peers are happily married and throwing baby showers every other week while she is still single. All she wants is a nice guy who will marry and make cute little babies with her. Jealous of her bestie expecting a fourth child, she cries alone at night. Her biological clock is ticking. All she needs is a man in her life.
She takes to the clubs in a last ditch attempt to find her knight in shining armor. Snapping pics with random guys she meets every night, she uploads it to Facebook to stick it to her married friends.
However, her news-feed flooded with baby pics greets her the morning after. She will cry herself to sleep again.
Defining Characteristics: Putting arms around random guys for pics Abilities: Steady hands.
The Gold digger can be found in 6-inch heels with the tightest body-con dress. She works hard for her killer body and isn’t afraid to show it off – she’ll need it to snag her next sugar-daddy. Her eyes are constantly scanning the club for that filthy rich (90% of the time ugly) guy that can feed her voracious appetite for materialistic objects.
Until then, leeching free drinks from poor guys will do. Avoid. At. All. Costs.
Defining Characteristics: Gravitates to VIP tables with expensive bottles Natural Habitat: Pangaea Abilities: Emptying bank accounts.
The Ah Lian has made some questionable decisions in life. You can tell from her boyfriend’s name tattooed across her chest. Or from the fact that she ran away from home. She frequents clubs with her Ah Beng friends in big groups because nothing else exciting is happening in her life – apart from slapping her mum.
Defining Characteristics: Under-aged, Non-stop selfies, Nickname is ? a ? y Xia0z н u Natural Habitat: St. James Power Station Abilities: Eh-Wah, Eh-Wah Eh-Wah!
#5 The Girl who is Friends with Everybody.
The Girl who is Friends with Everybody is attractive and has a great personality. She can’t walk two steps without recognizing someone she knows because everybody wants to know her. Her night is spent catching up with long lost friends at every turn, want to be her friend? Get in line.
Defining Characteristics: Calls staff members by first name, Gets ushered to the front of the VIP queue Natural Habitat: VIP table Abilities: Free entry and drinks.
(No offence to ALL fat people, this is just generalising for fun!)
The Fat chick has some self-esteem issues and hates leaving the house. The only time she stops binging in front of the TV is during her birthday. Her friends have managed to persuade her to crawl out of her she-cave and assured her the darkness of the club will mask her fats from view.
Now it’s 4AM, the first (and probably last) guy finally approaches her, drunk, he stumbles over with a blank look throughout their awkward conversation. She then sheepishly tells him “I’m leaving now you know?, *blink, blink* it’s my birthday”. *ahem*
Beer-googles saves the day and our stud updates Twitter the following morning:
Defining Characteristics: Barely fits through door Natural Habitat: Clubs with low lighting Abilities: Patience.

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